On Names

One theme that comes up repeatedly in the Connection Services stories is names. I didn’t even realize this until I was on draft 2 of book 2. Apparently, writing can help you learn what’s on your own mind.

There’s the obvious parts about names — everyone has one, apps allow people to be anonymous, etc. But there’s so much more there.

In The Beta Test, Dan is a character who simply cannot remember Avery’s name. She finds it incredibly frustrating. In my own life, I had a “Dan” and on top of finding it frustrating, I found it confusing on an identity level. What made me so forgettable? It can be a very destabilizing experience.

And of course, nicknames. There are nicknames galore in this series. Sometimes a simple nickname can open up a whole world for you — it can make you feel part of the team or the inner circle of whatever group gives you the name. I’ve experienced this as well.

In book 2, Andie (Avery’s mom) has a truckload of baggage wrapped up in her name. Her mom criticized her relentlessly, so she has an intense emotional response to the use of her full name (Andrea). She also experiences the withdrawal of nicknames from her estranged husband, which is another emotional layer for her to work through.

Names are important to humans. They’re loaded with meaning and identity. Even though Connection Services is largely light-hearted, there are some heavy themes there too.